Life Outside of the Eating Disorder and Why Recovery Rocks!
Okay so, I’m just going to give myself like a huge freaking pat on the back because over the past few months I’ve come really far. I’ve reached the minimum weight for my height, which admittedly has caused some major confusion this past week. I’ve been sketching out over being the highest weight in two years and my mind has been working overtime, but lets be honest. Do I really look any different? Have I expanded by a billion sizes? Did the worst really happen? No. I’m happier, I’m healthier. I’m not the same size I was, I’m not super model skinny. I’m lumpy, bumpy, but does this effect me as a person? No. Does this make me less awesome than I was a month a go? Not at all. I have developed in so many ways this past month. I’m happier with myself; eating disorder bullshit aside. I tried on a dress earlier and my thoughts, just my thoughts, were that I looked hot as freakin’ hell. I never felt that being smaller. I love myself, I love my body; weight does not define everything and life is a lot less scary now. If someone can’t appreciate my awesome personality, how fun, loving, caring and fantastic I am without putting a label on my body or looking only at the outside; then I have no time for them in my life. So, I’d like to give the middle finger to society and anyone else that hates on me for how I look; I’m beautiful.
This is the week I reclaimed my confidence, my happiness and not giving a crap what anyone else thoughts about what I chose to ate. Because I ate literally anything and everything that was offered. Three years of major restriction, limits, rules.. given up. I quit the guilt, I quit the shame and it was my choice. Discovering Feminism has given me power I could never of dreamed of before; this time last year I refused to eat anything in front of anyone. Now, I don’t give a damn what people think. I want a cheeseburger? I’ll have one. Another slice of Pumpkin Pie? Damn right. This week did more for me than you’ll ever know, and I’m going to continue kicking ass for the rest of my life.
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In fact it makes it incredibly easier to keep this blog going when I get them!
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